Relaxation takes practice.
With so much around us demanding our attention, it is challenging to separate our availability from our feelings of worthiness and productivity.
It can be even harder to re-learn our approach to methods that are ingrained, inherited, or have become counterintuitive.
Especially when it comes to relaxation and self-care.
Our physical and emotional needs will change throughout our lives, it stands to reason how we decompress will not stay the same either.
Nor will it be perfect.
Wanting to over-engineer our relaxation can skew our expectations of relaxation and ourselves, and ultimately become counterintuitive.
A little introspection helps us understand the causes of our stress and how we can find methods that work for us.
There is so much stimulating our brains on a daily basis.
This can lead us to feel compelled to perform at a higher level than what we are capable of physically and mentally in order to survive.
This can lead to burnout, and it can also make relaxing quite challenging – because we feel guilty about it.
Stress is part of our biological survival response.
In the moment of need, we can experience reactions to either fight, flight, freeze or fawn.
However, chronically experiencing this reaction detracts from our overall wellbeing.
This can show up in the form of indecisiveness, denial of feeling stressed or being overly concerned with what other people might think of you.
There is power in acknowledging your feelings which can be harnessed.
Switching off may not be straightforward, but it is possible.
How relaxing can be stressful
You are not alone in feeling some unease about relaxing.
About feeling what you feel you should be doing instead.
PsychCentral have explored this topic and found a few reasons why this might be the case:
Nearly 70% of British people go on holiday to unwind and rest, yet relaxing is not automatic for us.
Research conducted by Hilton found just under half of all travel-goers take up to two days to really relax.
This can vary for everyone, so it is unfair to hold ourselves or others to the same standard of instantaneous relaxation.
What is also concerning is that participants also (39%) said they couldn’t relax because they were thinking about their lives back home.
A further 29% cited being worried about the work they’ll go back to.
While holidays are important, they are a luxury expense – and they are not the only thing we can do for ourselves to truly relax.
There are ways to get into a state of focus and relaxation in a way that is most effective for you – you will need to be open to trying new things.
Find what works for you
We’re not categorically bad at relaxing, but we need to free ourselves from expectations and explore what works for us as individuals.
Not every method of relaxation will work for you as it does for someone else, and vice versa.
Self-reflection can help you find what activities suit your flow state.
Sources
Resources